This week, alright most of the last year, most of the last decade, I have been answering this question for parents, family members, friends, and teachers. They ask in heartbreaking tones, “what do I say to my child/friend/co-worker/neighbor/student that lets them know I am a safe person?” What do I say to the people who continue to be told that they are have no value? How do I stand with them and against the hate that is spewed from religious people, strangers, politicians, and now the POTUS?

The questions are not limited to one community of people, or one type of person. We are all here in this world and we know that hate has no bounds in our society. It has been and continues to be the high so many chase. For those of you not in a state or near a state that played relentless political ads in 2024 attacking members of the LGTBQIA+ community, you may not be aware that the barrage of hateful ads on billboards, television, radio, in our neighbors’ yards, and more, please understand the attack against our loved ones has be ongoing. If the ads were not about LGTBQIA+ rights they were xenophobic and anti-immigrant, sometimes the ads were all of that combined. There was no reprieve from this hate, even in our places of worship.

This week, after the POTUS announced that there are only two genders, the hateful rhetoric increased in volume. I received more than one message from a parent or loved one asking me, “what do I say to my child so they know they are allowed to be themselves?” My response continues to be the same, no government, no religious leader, no stranger, no family member, no teacher, no one, has the right to tell a person they are not themselves. God has created each of us uniquely, there is such beauty and diversity in life. Do not allow the hateful rhetoric of others tell you who you are, or your value.

The reality is, we caretakers, justice seekers, protectors of the vulnerable, can say all we want about a person’s worth, and that does not always crack through the hate that is so prevalent in today’s world. We can tell our children, friends, neighbors, and strangers that we are safe people, that we are fighting for their right to live. We can stand between them and those who would hurt them in the name of God or patriotism, but in a world so fixated on the high of hate, it may not be enough. Our people may decide it is safer to deny themselves, or to end their life.

I have long thought that if we know each other’s stories we would grow in compassion and knowledge, and we would become the kind of people who celebrate the vastness of God’s creation. I have preached this, taught this, modeled this, and prayed for this type of understanding. But today, as I sit here, I am aware that in order to know each other’s stories we have have to be willing to listen and to change together. The loudest voices and the people in power do not care to grow in compassion, and we are all suffering because of it.

My answer to those who keep asking, “what do I say,” remains the same, say, “I love you, God loves you, you are worthy, you are valued, you are needed. Be you, and I will be standing beside you to share the load, to deflect what hate I can, and to be a voice of compassion for you to hear.”

This is the stand I continue to make, the line I continue to hold. Thank you to everyone who stands with me against the hate that seeks to divide and destroy us.